Political Disagreement Dispute

Quote from Parade – 4/15/2007

AskMarilyn – by Marilyn vos Savant

Question: I get into a lot of quarrels with people when discussing politics. How can I get my points across without the development of a dispute?
- Gayle Eve McCormick, Lakeland, Fla.

Marilyn's Answer : Judging from my mail, politics is the No. 1 source of intellectual disagreement among Americans. (We don't talk much about religion: The topic has become taboo, to say the least!) For happier, healthier discussions about politics, I suggest these rules of civilized discussion for people all across the political spectrum:

Rule No. 1: Don’t expose weaknesses and flaws in the political beliefs of others. It provokes defensiveness, because everyone believes they are right; it makes people mad, because everyone hates to be called wrong; and people who are both defensive and mad are going to be ready to quarrel. Plus, showing people the error of their ways doesn’t make your ways right.

Rule No. 2: Explain the positive basis and evidence for your own political beliefs. People are more likely to adopt new beliefs than to drop old ones; also, people are more receptive to other ideas when not annoyed, and they will listen longer to pleasant, well-grounded comments and points. Plus, your beliefs needn’t be “right”; they need only to be a better choice.